Trying to explain to someone who has never personally dealt with bipolar disorder either personally or knows someone who has, is really a challenge. If you have never encountered the disorder either directly or indirectly, it is easy for me to understand why you wont think it is a big deal. Many of us have heard stories, read case studies, studied from our psychology textbooks about bipolar disorders, but that doesn’t necessarily mean we understand it. What I have learned from personal experience is that you can read about a condition all you want but until you face it or know someone who is or has faced it, then you really don’t know much about the condition. First hand experience, in my opinion, overshadows anything you can read in a book. So here I am, writing from first hand experience and the personal research I have conducted. I’m going to first talk about what bipolar disorder is, what bipolar II is, how I found out I was bipolar, and how it effected and still effects my everyday life. I am no psychologist and no psychiatrist, all I know is from what I have read on my own and dealt with first hand.
So what does it mean to say someone is bipolar or has a certain type of bipolar disorder? Well, being bipolar means you have mood swings that takes you from some sort of manic state to a depressed state of mind. So lets us imagine and everyday common mood swing, now let us multiply it by about 100, that is how a person with bipolar disorder experiences a mood swing. I might sound like I am exaggerating but with all seriousness, I am not. Okay, so what does it mean to be in some sort of manic state and what types of manic states are there? First, there is the full blown manic state where you feel like you are on top of the world, no one can stop you, almost psychotic, and sometimes people even lose touch with reality. Second, there is the hypomania state, which feature extremely elevated mood, energy, and grandiosity, but they do not reach the state of psychosis, as in mania. When people say someone has bipolar I, they usually mean they have the full blown manic-depression. As for bipolar II, it is the hypomanic-depression. However, the depressed state of bipolar II is more deadly and fatal then that of bipolar I. When one is in a state of hypomania, everything seems like a good idea. And I mean everything and anything. When looking back at the things I have done while in a hypomanic state of mind, I cant help but question myself and my morals. People with bipolar II reach states of extreme excitement where judgment is lost. Another important factor of bipolar II is that people, or you can call them patients, are hypersexulaized. As for the depressed state, oh it’s very scary to say the least. You go from being on top of the world to the depth of hell, emotionally and mentally that is. As you can imagine, a mixture of all of this can lead to a very unstable life style. Which brings me to the topic of my next post, how I found out I was bipolar and how it effects me in every aspect.