“I’ll snort anything” she says as she takes the bottle of Ambien out of her bag. Crushes a few pills and asks us to join in. “It will be a fun ride” she says. “Hallucinations and all!” She smirks at him with those lips painted a shade of dark purple. We didn’t understand her, she was this mystical like being that we happened to be lucky to find and she made all our dreams come true. There were 2 of us plus her but from the outside looking in you’d only see two people sitting down and you’d only hear two voices. “Im not ready for this, are you sure you are?” he asks her and makes her laugh. “Baby, I was born ready” she says with sass and snorts the first half of the Ambien off the table. She scares me sometimes with how sturdy she is. Her mind is a beautiful creation of manic episodes and too many painkillers. She had us all fooled. She had me fooled into thinking she was all right. That night she came down crashing and it was a shit show. “Stay away from drugs, guys” she yelled as she slit her wrists, but there wasn’t anyone else in the room but me sitting quietly in my corner of her mind. There were two of us souls and one body that we shared. It’s pretty scary stuff, stuff you can’t explain. Sometimes I miss her when im lonely and I think about what it would be like if she came back just for a few days. Ofcourse I’d need to be off the meds for that to happen, but surely I do miss her. She was always fun. Sometimes I can feel her trying to rip her self out of the bag I have hid her in the back of my mind. I can feel her push and scream trying to get me to get another high off something sweet. “Mood Swings” they call them but they don’t know our little secret. We used to take turns playing the role of the good daughter, good student- naughty girl, naughty lover. She always liked to play games; I guess so do I. is any of this making any sense? Yesterday I tried to take a little extra of my ADHD med and it gave me a massive headache. I couldn’t think, couldn’t see, and couldn’t function properly. It’s days like that when I miss her. She always knew what to do.